Two Words

“My life had been perfect I had great friends who were always there to listen to what I had to say, even if it was nothing. My boyfriend was fantastic in all the right ways…”

I took a deep breath, remembering my life six months ago, I smiled, those memories would last me a lifetime. I wanted to share them with someone - only I didn’t have anyone...

“Even my family was great. I was doing well at school, getting really good grades. I had a good job at a clothes store down at the mall”

I sighed, “I was happy with the way I looked. I was eating properly.”

I was lying down, on an uncomfortable couch. My eyes were closed, I had a cigarette in one hand, and the other was playing with my brittle mousy-colored hair. “My hair used to be black, soft and so shiny.”

I lowered my hand and touched my face softly. “My skin was clear, soft and smooth… now it’s oily, pimply and flaky.”

I opened my eyes. They now had no life to them; they are sort of yellow instead of white. My eyelids are droopy. I look like I haven’t slept for weeks, I look like a severe drug addict.“My eyes, they used to sparkle. I had lovely brown eyes, now they look aged, they belong to someone else now.”

I took a couple of drags of my cigarette, then I put it out and ran my hands all over my body-disgusted with what I felt.“I used to have a nice shape, curves, now I look anorexic, you can see my ribs clearly.”

I looked at my hands. “My hands too, they look very aged.”

I sat up and hugged myself. “I hate looking this way!” I cried and shook my head “I hate looking this way!”

“I screwed up my wonderful life. I now have nothing. I don’t even have one friend to pull me out of this hole. I’m all alone…”

I started rocking back and forth, shaking with madness. I was mumbling… I myself didn’t understand what I was saying. I took deep breaths until I was still again. I realized I needed help, but I didn’t know how to ask for it.

I stared coldly and vacantly into Doctor Kovic’s eyes. “I’m all alone,” I cried, and tears rolled down my face for the first time in months.

I knew that I wanted my life back. I wanted to start again, I missed my old life.

I looked at the room I was in, it was cold and dim, there were no happy pictures in the wall, hardly any light from the window as the wooden blinds blocked off all the bright sun light. How could anyone stand it in here? It was driving me nuts.

“Help me,” I chocked, finding it hard to say those two words.



~Simone~